How to Balance a Healthy Marriage, Parenting, and Running a Business Together

ShearShare cofounders and partners for life Dr. Tye and Courtney Caldwell talk about their own highs and lows starting something from nothing, what they’ve learned being married (and how they use that in business), and why it’s important to not forget that you are two individuals. At the end of the day, your business is only as healthy as you are!

Full Transcript Below:

0:00 hi I’m doctor Tycho well CEO and

0:03 co-founder of ship hey guys my name is

0:05 Courtney Caldwell I’m co-founder and CEO

0:07 what’s your share share share is the

0:20 first mobile app that lets hairstylist

0:23 weren’t space to work by the day in

0:24 cities all over the world how do we

0:27 balance our personal and business

0:28 relationship well it’s pretty easy

0:31 we both have branding our own lanes

0:33 running our businesses so we’re longer

0:35 in the tooth when it comes to being

0:36 professionals and so it’s easy because I

0:42 feel like I let her run her own lane and

0:44 she let me run in my own lane and it

0:46 makes it easier for just not only for

0:49 the data path but also working in

0:51 interact with one another personally and

0:53 and being able to do certain things

0:55 outside of business like walk the dog

0:57 eat lunch together and stuff like that

1:00 so personally that’s what I think what

1:02 do you think business was my goodness

1:03 well I think what works for us is that

1:05 we actually do a lot of things together

1:07 I know some people can’t imagine working

1:10 with their spouses or anyone in their

1:11 family or even their best friend but

1:13 this guy right here who truly is my BFF

1:15 like we get up in the morning we we get

1:19 up in the mornings we’ll work out

1:21 together will meditate we’ll pray

1:23 together I mean starting your day

1:25 consistently with the other person

1:27 whether you’re a miracle founder or not

1:28 married co-founder I think is key I’m

1:30 having those steps that you take every

1:32 day to ensure that we’re always in the

1:34 same page

1:35 that really means a lot when you want to

1:37 be successful you know because there’s a

1:38 lot of up and down days there’s a lot of

1:41 things that can take you off kilter and

1:43 I think that when you come in the day

1:45 with a game plan it can really kind of

1:47 keep you focused regardless of what may

1:50 be a high what may be alone what I love

1:53 about working with this lady is she

1:55 makes me look good

1:57 she’s a master marketer she knows

2:00 business on a level outside of what I

2:04 know better than anybody so I trust her

2:07 information I trust the fact that she

2:09 has my best interest I also trust the

2:12 fact that she’s gonna tell me what’s

2:14 real and what’s right even when I may

2:16 disagree or don’t like it so I think

2:18 that that’s one of the key things I

2:20 think when you have a partnership or

2:22 marriage to stay the same is that you

2:26 know just knowing that your apartment

2:27 has of your best interest really really

2:30 makes it easy to not only be with that

2:32 person or get along with that person but

2:35 definitely when you’re with that person

2:37 you know most of your date oh that’s it

2:42 yeah um that’s really good baby I would

2:45 have to say what what I love about

2:47 working with you is that you push them

2:50 you challenge me to be even better I

2:53 think in our and our marriage would

2:54 always challenge each other anyway I

2:56 mean we have so much fun I mean the work

2:58 is like a byproduct of that and don’t

3:00 get me wrong I mean building a tech

3:02 startup especially with zero technical

3:05 background is like one of the hardest

3:06 things ever in the world but I think

3:08 having a really awesome marriage that

3:12 you look forward to every day

3:15 he’s even better and takes even more

3:16 work so for us

3:18 share share is just like another

3:20 marriage or like our marriage you know

3:22 times 10 but we’ve done the foundational

3:25 work of having a really awesome

3:27 relationship and this guy

3:28 right here he’s my BFF for life

3:30 communication is key in that so let’s

3:32 just keep that on point yes

3:34 communication is definitely key one

3:37 thing that hate is such a strong world

3:40 one of the things that I dislike fun hey

3:42 it’s that you know I like to feel I like

3:48 to feel hurt when I’m wearing a beard at

3:50 night make sure my feet are on her know

3:53 this is not too much information I like

3:54 to make sure I like to make sure she’s

3:56 there so I’ll put my feet over there and

3:58 sometimes I’m pushing it all the way

3:59 outside the bed knowing that she’s not

4:01 there but she will get up in the middle

4:03 of the night one two o’clock in the

4:04 morning and be working and so that will

4:07 keep me up and be wondering you know

4:09 when are you coming back you know

4:11 because now she got me thinking so you

4:14 know you want to get a good night rest

4:15 and and so it’s good that that person is

4:18 always thinking business but one thing I

4:20 hate that she does is stop the process

4:24 of us just getting that full rest at

4:26 night you know downtime yeah I mean

4:29 funny show that that couples when you

4:32 sleep next to a person who you’re

4:34 emotionally involved with I mean your

4:36 sleep is so much better the next day is

4:39 so much better you are a healthier

4:41 happier person and so I totally get it

4:43 well when my husband’s coming from I do

4:45 I’m gonna get better I’m trying to think

4:50 of what I dislike about working with you

4:54 I think I think with you what you

4:56 probably want to say and you won’t think

4:58 about it okay that is true if you know

5:04 my husband if anybody out there knows hi

5:06 call well they know that this man right

5:08 here I don’t think I’ve ever known him

5:10 to be wrong and I’ve known him for

5:11 almost 20 years and so when he says

5:14 something I’m like even if it like rips

5:17 my rips my side I’m like I know the man

5:19 is right so I just got

5:20 I’m very intuitive and very

5:22 thought-provoking so you know one of the

5:24 things that I learned growing up is that

5:26 you know don’t apologize

5:28 I didn’t know I didn’t know what

5:30 apologizing meant but I realized you

5:34 know hurt someone even if you’re right

5:37 just apologize I never I never

5:39 understood that so when when I’m right

5:42 and somebody realizes that I have your

5:44 best interest it was really hard for me

5:46 to sit back inside what are you mad

5:48 about I mean I tried to tell you but you

5:50 know one of the things that I had to

5:52 learn it to apologize for how they feel

5:54 even though I was right not to throw it

5:57 in their face so I’m still learning that

5:59 by the way so I’m a fast learner and I’m

6:03 stubborn as well I mean something that

6:05 we do that most people don’t think about

6:08 when they’re running a startup is that

6:10 we take time out for ourselves I mean so

6:12 many people want to hear the story about

6:14 oh for the last ten years of my life I

6:16 worked 12 hours a day and I was

6:19 constantly in front of a computer and I

6:22 ate you know survived off of rice and

6:24 you know that that is possible but it

6:27 really if you just think about it in

6:29 order for you to be the best at anything

6:31 you got to be a peak performance the Rio

6:33 Grande isn’t about working all the time

6:35 of your blindness is it’s full circle

6:37 it’s a it’s a total 360 of being able to

6:40 be focused not just with your with your

6:42 business but with your life with your

6:44 well-being with your which are which are

6:45 eating habits which are sleeping habits

6:47 and so when we work them in the middle

6:49 of the night and we’re working you know

6:51 that doesn’t mean that you know we’re

6:53 substituting for what we didn’t do we’re

6:54 adding to what we’ve already done so the

6:56 grind of what really people want

6:58 understand what grind is it’s not just

7:00 working 12 hours working 14 hours 18

7:03 hours it’s like we’re thinking business

7:05 24 hours a day we hide in intensity we

7:08 just know how to separate in order to go

7:10 take a take a walk with the dog in

7:12 together go to the movies you know shout

7:15 out the back counter go to the movies

7:16 and do certain things you know that’s so

7:21 true then and I love that about my

7:22 husband because really my personality is

7:25 not okay Courtney

7:26 take a breather and take a step back

7:28 mine is like you see a goal like you

7:31 charge after that thing like zero to 100

7:34 and you go as fast as you freakishly can

7:37 and he’s so awesome about saying you

7:39 know what maybe we need to like push the

7:41 computer back for a minute and like go

7:43 take a lap around the neighborhood or

7:44 just like decompress for a second or hey

7:47 by the way let’s go ahead and cook

7:48 dinner together I mean it’s just the

7:49 simple things like that and you forget

7:51 so often and so he’s so good about

7:54 reminding us that we are first two

7:56 individuals who happened to be best

7:59 friends who happen to be married who

8:01 happened to be running a tech startup

8:04 together and I’m just so very grateful

8:05 for them for that she teaches me things

8:07 on the life of a corporate person how

8:09 slow things move and I teach her things

8:11 on the life of logic move preneur on how

8:14 fast things move on how you have to

8:15 change on the diamond pivot you know

8:17 where other people they wait for that

8:19 Titanic to turn in being takeoff we’re

8:22 always turning pivoting and shifting in

8:25 whatever we need to do to make things

8:26 better

8:26 yeah you know something else I love

8:28 about working with you is that like I

8:30 never have to wait for you to get home

8:31 to like decompress myself they might

8:33 tell you oh these are the great things

8:34 that happened now these are not so good

8:36 things that happen like you’ve been

8:37 there with me like you experienced it

8:39 with me that’s why I let her walk the

8:41 dog sometime by ourselves

8:42 so they shine so that she can kind of

8:45 have some time away from me

8:46 to miss me for about 50 let’s go take

8:53 pepper like if you take any walking okay

8:56 how many people going if we’re going

8:57 right maybe let’s go

8:59 one piece of advice I would give to

9:02 couples is have a game plan if you’re

9:05 married

9:05 understand that it’s going to be a very

9:09 rocky relationship if there’s no

9:11 communication so just imagine being in

9:13 business I think so many times couples I

9:15 mean wife is just talking about me and

9:16 Cortney was talking about the other day

9:17 there’s so many times people get

9:19 successful in business by having a

9:21 relationship personally so when the

9:23 company gets bought or sold then their

9:25 relationship is done some people are

9:28 successful in business I mean in

9:29 marriage or in partnership but not good

9:31 in business because they take everything

9:33 so personal in business I think one of

9:35 the things that we

9:36 do we make sure that we are

9:37 communicating on both levels

9:39 understanding that for one regatta best

9:41 interests so you have to learn how to

9:45 how to remove the the really really

9:48 close emotional things that’s to your to

9:50 your chest to realize a person is not

9:52 really trying to hurt you like I mean

9:54 say according we gotta we gotta meet we

9:56 gotta get you we got to go now most

9:58 people would think you’re forcing or

9:59 you’re being mean to them you’re

10:00 snapping at them

10:01 no I’ve given all the the time outside

10:04 the hints we gotta go now because you

10:07 know at the end of the day you you you

10:09 know what’s best for both you guys so

10:11 you don’t want to get in the car and

10:12 she’s mad or you’re mad and be fussing

10:14 about why you’re late or who made each

10:16 other late you know those are things or

10:18 a meaning that you know you may I’m not

10:20 gonna be get into there’s a lot of

10:22 things that you can it’s a litany of

10:24 things it just really depends on how

10:26 intuitive you are with your partner how

10:30 close you are in your relationship

10:32 because you gotta realize this is the

10:34 person that you chose did you choose

10:35 them for the wrong reasons have you

10:37 chosen for the right reasons they’re

10:38 gonna get it but if you chose them for

10:40 all we hang out and have drinks on

10:42 Saturday night and everything it’s

10:43 Saturday night and Saturday night it’s

10:44 Saturday night and Monday Tuesday

10:45 Wednesday Thursday the O’s days people

10:47 don’t see so you know we try to make

10:49 sure that we communicate in that level

10:51 and and just really keep staying

10:52 centered and keeping God first when

10:54 really I feel like keeps everything

10:56 strong so I think that anybody that’s

10:58 looking for a strong relationship make

11:00 sure you’re looking at the things the

11:02 detailed things that really matter and

11:04 not those those big things that you

11:06 think are small things

11:07 how can you guys communicate can you go

11:09 on a trip together and like each other

11:12 the next day can you can you can you go

11:17 to a grocery store and shop for

11:18 groceries together how do y’all talk on

11:21 the phone can y’all hold a conversation

11:22 on the phone or a simple thing you can

11:26 you can you just go outside and sit on

11:28 the patio and have a cup of coffee or

11:32 some water those things matter because

11:34 if it’s always heightened part of the

11:36 relationship like going to the movies

11:37 going on a vacation or

11:40 and have drinks where it’s you got to

11:43 dress up and look good and you’re

11:44 thinking about yourself or you’re

11:45 thinking about the event or the moment

11:47 those things don’t matter because the

11:49 relationship is one of those things

11:50 where I call it journey it’s not a race

11:51 you’re gonna see every facet of the

11:53 person according to seeing me cry she

11:56 sent me mad she’s seen me how issues

11:59 with my family often have issues with

12:01 her family and how you need that person

12:03 to talk to you don’t want to be in

12:05 situations where you’re not able to

12:06 communicate with your partner and trust

12:09 her with things that you may not want to

12:10 tell anybody else if you can trust your

12:12 partner with things that you can’t share

12:15 with anybody else you have the right

12:16 partner because they’re gonna look at

12:17 you as being emotionally sound and

12:20 they’re gonna realize that he’s he’s not

12:22 only capable but he’s willing to put in

12:25 the time and the effort to share with me

12:28 his most intimate thoughts and

12:32 understand you better

12:35 I think about like for for ty and me our

12:42 marriage is really like our first

12:44 startup you’re gonna start up you have

12:47 these huge peaks in these valleys and

12:50 these roller coasters and Monday not the

12:52 same as Tuesday afternoon and Friday

12:54 morning not the same as Friday midday

12:56 and so in marriage to you you can go

13:00 through the highs and lows it’s just

13:01 about how are you going to like Riesman

13:03 or yourself

13:04 and I remember this pastor told us once

13:06 and after talking to us he said you know

13:08 you guys have a positive setpoint

13:11 which means that whenever there’s

13:14 something crazy going on outside the

13:15 relationship or even inside the

13:17 relationship we always come back

13:19 together at a positive place he comes

13:21 from a positive perspective and I bring

13:24 a positive disposition and because of

13:26 that you know a lot of things could

13:28 really scare some people off but we seem

13:32 to work it out her quote is is this

13:34 gonna matter in five years from now

13:35 right and you have an argument

13:37 they just give me a minute like forgive

13:39 me for interrupting you but is this

13:41 really like what we’re talking about

13:43 like you know you you asked me to you

13:46 know be ready like an hour ago cuz I’m

13:47 like pretty bad being late

13:50 you asked me to be ready an hour ago and

13:51 I’m still not ready like in five years

13:53 is this really gonna matter it’s gonna

13:55 keep us from getting his money and

14:02 sometimes you know those things are just

14:05 human irritations you know that’s not a

14:08 deal breaker I just think that you know

14:11 you just got to communicate like you

14:12 know she says hey you know what always

14:14 she can relax because I’m the one that

14:16 has the time I know when the track is

14:19 gonna hit or I know what time we got to

14:21 be there so she’s relaxed she’s taking

14:22 her time so I this is what I do

14:25 I mean this is a secret now to how we

14:26 make it when I get in the shower she

14:30 know we got 20 minutes I’ve already done

14:36 everything we got 20 minutes when I’m

14:38 getting that shower once I get in

14:39 everything’s been done are you gonna get

14:40 back in the car

14:41 bags are put up got 20 minutes show she

14:43 yelled to the Sun tray he’s in the

14:47 shower they know the whole house knows

14:49 we all had 20 minutes to get ready and

14:52 you better be out in the car like really

14:53 19 1/2 I think two for us though we we

14:57 really start our day off on the right

14:58 foot like every day we do pretty much

15:00 the same thing you know some people

15:02 would call that boring but really for us

15:04 it starts us off on the right foot both

15:06 as husband and wife and best friends and

15:09 you know kind of like this guy a lot but

15:11 also as co-founders so we’re constantly

15:14 thinking about okay so what we need to

15:15 do today better for each other just as

15:18 individuals and what do we need to do

15:19 better today for the business and those

15:22 lines blur a lot but it’s okay because

15:25 this man right here like oh no I trust

15:28 him with my life so I know that sounds

15:30 kind of corny but at the end of the day

15:32 if I trust this man with my life and he

15:35 has my best interest at heart and I know

15:37 beyond a shadow of a doubt like going

15:40 into business with him like the easiest

15:42 second decision that may be one of the

15:44 six this thing a woman can say to you

15:46 that she trusts you with her life

15:48 because at the end of the day what it

15:50 says is that she doesn’t care about any

15:53 body tells she knows that you’re gonna

15:56 be there so what does that do for me it

15:58 keeps me focused it makes me a better

16:00 man it makes me want to do things right

16:02 it makes me you know not even worry

16:05 about other things that are rounding

16:06 that are surrounding me because no man

16:08 of visuals visual insane things so it

16:12 makes me understand that it doesn’t

16:14 really matter who wants to hurt somebody

16:15 that trusts you so it to lose something

16:18 that big is is you got to look at that

16:22 like man that’s like top of the top of

16:24 the food chain sexy because at the end

16:27 of the day intimacy intimacy is two

16:29 things it’s intimacy relationally and

16:32 it’s intimacy of communicating leaking

16:34 so you have to look at those two game

16:36 changers relationship and and we started

16:39 the startup we started this thing called

16:41 sheer share you know years after we grow

16:45 two knew each other

16:45 so it was just another thing to

16:48 communicate about right and we have a

16:50 family I think our marriage is our first

16:53 ministry then the best thing ever I look

16:56 forward to waking up every day excited

16:58 know that I’m married to gonna be an

16:59 adventure and being able to run this

17:01 start off with ty is an adventure every

17:03 day and then we have our son who’s 17

17:05 and he’s about to be gone off to college

17:07 next year and so then what are we gonna

17:09 do I really like this man you know

17:11 there’s a lot of people unfortunately in

17:13 their relationships after the kids are

17:15 out of the house and that is I feel like

17:16 we’re just getting started like again

17:18 like it’s like another ski yeah and

17:20 that’s a good thing that’s a good place

17:21 to be in I think a lot of people want to

17:24 want that or want to have that or want

17:26 to see that in other people to realize

17:28 that it’s real I can’t say enough about

17:32 it you know being at this stage in my

17:34 life you know you want to have somebody

17:36 that’s there for you I’ve always been

17:38 about team team playing and team sports

17:40 and and and being in a marriages it’s

17:42 such a team playing type of

17:45 of process and game for life and you can

17:48 always alter and modify as you go

17:51 because people don’t change and you got

17:53 to change with them this man right here

17:55 he’s my ace

17:56 he is my if you if you call me anything

18:01 I’m with you well that’s cool I

18:02 appreciate that it’s also the logo so

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